Pretty, Sweet Friend.

Wish I had my old self back... Trying to Act like I would have. Maybe I'm still in here...

Debating what to do. Gona mis Cathy if she moves. and I told her, without being that obvious, but she probably picked it up. I mis her if she isn''t working. It takes a lot to interest me like this. It is usualy girls from outside the city, which makes it hard to meet them, especialy now, in my situation. I could just let it go however it will, but want to do more, if only to make sure she knows how she has affected me. Not wanting more than friendship. Have lost a Lot of good, close friends, that every one is important. Seems like we do have some things in common, or mutual interest, and maybe more, the more we would know, but the situation doesn't make finding out easy. Funny how current friendships have grown. She showed interest a few times, but got distracted. Could be her personality gets affected, or the situation. That makes it complicated and frustrating. I have made offers, that would show interest, and that's all I can do. She may be involved with someone, but doesn't seem like.

Interesting that the girl I was interested in before Cathy is making some interesting comments. Went in early today, and she asked if I came early to see her? Another one who doesn't talk asked me how I was doing? Maybe running a smoke screen for Cathy..))

Complicated situation. Can't figure where Cathy's head is. Makes me think of my nephews stepdaughter who also went to art school, and she is Different. Even dated a girl when I was young, who painted, who was different as was her mom and younger sister, who spoke like an Old English sea captain. The girl dressed like a witch.)) It's hard to have a conversation with the waitresses, because they are working, and often have to wait on someone, and Cathy leaves, even if one of the other workers comes and says something. She will ask questions, or info, and then is gone.. Had a situation with a girl who taught at a Univ, and off for the summer. and working there. So pretty. Casinos were opening in NJ, and asked if she wanted to go. Said she wasn't interested in them. Told her, since she gets me coffee, let me take her for some, and turned me down. 3 weeks later she says, she will go for the coffee... Feel like this is a similar situation, and that Cathy and I have a lot in common, but something interups her when we start talking, She speakes in a soft voice, that sometimes is hard to hear, so makes communicating hard. Reminds me of females I have talked to recently with bad celphones.. Hard to have a conversation... and Cathy saying she may leave the area... Almost wish she hadn't started talking to me, and she wasn't my waitress. Would Love to be friends...

Really can't believe how special this girl is. I've had reationships with a few special ones, and sorta gave up on meeting any others, but I am flored. Shame trying to talk to her while she is working, and always interuptions. With the others there was resistance at first, but they changed their their tune, and hoping that happens here, but I wonder, and have to see it happens. Funny, the things I like she does, or seems to be learning about. When I mentioned Greyhounds, she said they were elegant, and with Afghan hounds, she asked, are they the ones with the long hair, like she didn't know them before.

Shame she said she wants to move, and I don't think she will be around long. Told her she is the prettiest, sweetest girl I ever met. Guess I'll just tell her she is special, and let it sit, and see what happens. It's hard to be around her. It's funny, she acts like I'm not there, and then stops to chat. I know she has work to do.. Heard an interview with David Lee Roth who is a rock n roll performer and a character, and was asked if he was going to get married, and said he has had some relationships, and said, he wonders if he was blind, would have been with the girls he has, like he was attracted by their looks, but not their minds.)) I wonder what I would say? Hard to tell with the way we have to converse. Well, I am enjoying what I can.

Interesting how her coworkers come to me and talk or to make comments. I wonder if that is a positive?

Still on my mission to win that sweet thing. Wonder how this is going to turn out, with me half of who I was? Guess I have more of a challenge.)) Hey, my grandfather married a girl who was 36 when he was 87, so guess there is hope. Probably why he lived to 104 but a hospital did him in with the infections that kill 1/3 of people who go into them...

I used to get slightly annoyed with a friend who used to say, WE only had 10 more yrs to live, and had been saying it for 15 yrs. He died a few mo ago.

Saw her last night while working, and she wasn't that talkative. Starting to think it might be her personality, but she is working, even though near me. Other friendlies act the same there, so might be the same. With customers to wait on, or watch. Slow times might be better, but she usually leaves early, when it slows down. They let workers go. I got in earlier, because I wanted to do some shopping.

Still want to get to know her better, because she is so special, but have to just play it by ear. She is friendly but not enough for my liking. Wemen can be slow, and me fast. Guess that's just the way it is, but she started acting interested first. Maybe because she saw me often, and wanted to know more about me. Just hope to have her as a good friend. Seeing her makes my day....

Had a decent conversation with Cathy, and may have made some headway. She said she was shy, and she seems that way, but also a bit outspoken.

Not making much headway, but it's a complicated situation. I usually am lucky in situations, and think I undersand the positive signals, but others are negative. It's not an ideal situation, but couldn't pass it up. Wish I could have a long conversation with her. Her shyness doesn't help, and being an artist doesn't help, since they can be flaky. ))

The situation was like a perfect storm, but a good one. She is so dammed pretty and sweet, it's hard not being involved. She may be involved with someone, and she said she is going to move. Would be almost better if she did soon. Thought about all the money I might be saving.))

Wonder if I should stop trying to get a good friendship? That would be sweet. Another waitress has started talking. Maybe another shy one. She has been there for months, and just started getting friendly. Today comes up and thanks me for stopping on my way home till her boyfriend got hold of her dog. I saw the guy on the sidewalk trying to get it and stopped till he did. Funny that it was her dog...

Guess I'll stay after Cathy till she leaves, whenever that is. Hard to believe she surfaced at the diner. Sure wish I could read her mind. She is special.

Doesn't look good. Haven't seen Cathy when she usually works so asked, and was told she left, and Wed was her last day. Said she sold a painting and had enough money to live for 6 mo. Was hoping to have some kind of relationship with her. Friends would have been great. It was reminding me of other relationships in many ways, so was hoping it would happen.

This has been strange, but artists are. The fact she went on vacation about a mo after she started was confusing. She wanted to know things about me which actually got me interested, because she was pretty quiet, so didn't get my attention, but once she did, she really did, because I got a good look at her, and to talk to her. Still might be hope, but not counting on it. If it was meant to be it would be. It was giving me some motivation which I don't have a lot of. I was going to get her a gift, just for being so interesting, and thought of buying it today, but couldn't find exactly what I wanted, so didn't. Saved money in both cases.))

Funny how Cathy and the amino acids came into my life at the same time. Both have been interesting, and one probably helped the other, Didn't expect much from Cathy, but sometimes things suprise you. Would love to know what her intension was, or if she had one? Her situation is kind of complicated, but so is mine. Maybe it fit for us. She sounded like she was trying to sort hers out, but so am I. Maybe they helped or fit each other. Funny how even getting involved with the greyhound rescue fit in, and that started about the same time as her and the amino's.

Was thinking of how other relationships started, even ones with dogs, and they all had similarities, and how they touched me.

Not looking good. Don't know how I will find and meet her again. Guess that may be all she wrote. Shame Should have to pick up her last check, unless she already did, but no idea when, and not gona find out and try to meet her. I'll keep my eyes open when out and around, but that won't be likely. Sure wish I knew why she seemed interested. That sparked my interest.

Getting through the days, but not happy about it.. Just have to think about how much money I'm saving.))) Figured I'd be spending a lot on her...

Wonder what Cathy thinks about what we went through? I didn't approach it as being more than a friendship, that she seemed to start. Thats all I hoped for, but she seemed to go in and out of it so I reacted accordingly. Shame we couldn't have had a normal conversation. One older guy, who would like to hook up with some of the girls. told me. one asked him if he was a Nat Am, and said she gave him a kiss. Told him I would have asked her something to see if she was interested in more. Don't go kissing a customer no matter the age unless close or wanting to get close. Said he didn't want to sound like a dirty old man.

Maybe Cathy isn't socially knoweledag\ble, seemingly going out of her way to start conversations. Maybe she got educated. I've lived far from home, where not knowing anyone, and I drove, and am not shy. Sure is a shame, since I would have done things anyway she wanted to, to help her out. It's my nature to help people, because I appreciate it if it happens to me. I've made some great friends over the years, helping them out with things, I can do easily, and enjoy doing

Wonder how this is going to end, or if it already did? It was an increadable journey, especially the way it happened. Don't really know everything, like what was the painting she sold, and for how much, which sounds like a lot, so sounds like she is good.

Feels like I got hit by a perfect storm. First coconut oil, then the branched chain amino's, then Cathy. Think they all played a part

The situation wasn't conducive for interacting to start with, then she didn't seem consistent, like interested one minute, then not, so no idea what, so a frustrating situation. I think we could have been interesting, if in just a good friendship, and could have learned things from each other, that interest each. It just seemed like fate brought us to meet each other, the way it happened. I told her, I wanted to have a good conversation with her, not the bits and pieces we had. Funny that I had little interest till we did start talking. Then her personality started to show, then she got interesting, and she was interested it what I said. She did go out of her way to come over and start talking a few times, but interruptions and distractions interfered. Just have to assume it wasn't interesting enough. It seemed similar to other situations that did blossom to something nice, that I was hoping for. Still wonder if she will be back, I mean, she goes on vacation a month after starting, after starting to talk, which was puzzling, and thought she had quit. Don't know if she talked to anyone else, but a waiter friend said she asked him what he thought she should do after selling a painting for a good bit, that she could live off of for 6 mo, and he told her he would quit, and work on more paintings, and looks like she did. He is the type who would love to live off the land, so I don't think would give great advise.

It must be love. Can't stop thinking about the girl. Not many move me, but when they do... Funny that she seemed to get interested in me before I did in her. Didn't seem like the type to tease, but I guess so. Well, I have lots to do.

Trying to change my thoughts to a 2nd choice, Kate, that was #1 before Cathy took over. She got friendly after, and keeps getting more so. Not as sweet and not shy, but is attractive, iinteresting and nice. That should help.

Still struggling with this Cathy thing. Funny how she outshines all the other girls. Talking to a waiter at the diner, he said, she was different, and complicated. Artists often are. My nephew has a stepdaughter who is. Figure that is why Cathy acted on and off. Like she has a shyness, but could be outspoken. Not used to not getting someone I wanted to. Have a feeling she could be gone.

still can't beleve how Cathy got to me, and how it didn't happen till we got talking, where she initiated it. Then it was like half of it was compatible, and half where she was pushing me away. Guess that's what's so confusing. Maybe she was torn.

Strange to figure who is interested and who isn't. One waitress was real friendly and then she got nasty. Figure she was taking drugs. Had told me her BF had Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, and now is back living at her mom's, so drugs would explain it. but what a mess. A friend told me his son had a drug problem and tried to kill himself, stabbing himself.

Still confused about Cathy, and trying to figure her out. Have heard a few things that explain some things, but not the big picture. Wonder if telling her how pretty I thought she was gave her a big head.)) Was just being honest. Can't be anything else but now, which can be a problem.(( Such is life....

Think I'm figuring out that Cathy thing a bit. Something must have changed on her vacation a month after starting work. That was really strange, and I had to ask if she got fired or quit. This was after she started showing interest, which was a puzzle. Funny how it all went along. Sure would have been nice to have a nice friendship. The situation seemed ideal.